Crossing all barriers- I struggled but overcame

“I struggled but overcame” – This post is for a contest by the Chennai Bloggers Club (CBC).

Being the only daughter with divorced parents has its own toll on life. I was an average girl who grew up mostly with my grandparents. I completed my schooling staying with them due to a lot of practical reasons such as my mom running and slogging to support my education. She was away from us, in Chennai the whole time. I even stayed near my G'parents during my college. Having done my higher secondary and engineering in the non-metropolitan gave me a different exposure over life. Probably I could say NO EXPOSURE at all!

Meanwhile, there are always these specified species of relatives who call themselves as the ‘good-genuine people’ who have jumped from the sky directly who’s only job is to bad mouth everyone. There was one such incident when I went for a function with my grandparents when an ugly, fat relative passed an uncomfortable comment about me and my mother. The reason being only one- ‘fatherless child’.

I WANTED to break her face the very moment itself, but I COULDN'T and so left the place in raging fumes. That was my moment of revelation where I wanted to prove them all wrong and wanted to make my mom proud and nothing else.

I was a timid girl back then. I still remember how I ran away all the time when my seniors in college teased me. I still remember how sheepishly I cried on the fresher’s introduction day in hostel because my seniors passed some stupid comment on me. When I think about it, I laugh hard today. And every time my mom talks over phone or comes to visit me, she tells me how ‘shrewd’ and how ‘matured & confident’ the girls in Chennai are. Though I was able to take her advices religiously, putting all that into practice was difficult being in a completely different environment.

Amidst all these, my focus never changed. I always wanted to make my mom proud. I wouldn't say I never made any mistakes at all. I did make few wrong choices in life, but I always LEARNED & PRACTICED from it.

Then came the important phase of my life- WORK. The corporate world was completely different than I ever imagined. Though I did my initial schooling and lived in Chennai for 10 long years, coming back to the same city which is filled with humongous change was intimidating. Being brought up mostly in the south, adjusting to the metropolitan requirements was difficult, but not impossible. My friendly nature and ever smiling face was misunderstood by a lot. There were a certain lot of people who tagged me as ‘attention seeking’ & ‘characterless’ when I smiled and wished them.

I didn’t know how to handle this. It again only reminded me of the dark days of my college when 8/10 guys I friendly spoke to had a different idea on their ‘friendship’ over me. How much ever I ran away from it trouble seemed to love me much!!

But everyone has their time and moment where proper help comes their way. If we are lucky enough, we notice it and make the best out of it. Well, I got lucky. Yes, I had few folks at office who were much experienced than I’m and few friends who though in the same age were much matured than me. These people showed me the difference between ‘Innocence’ and ‘Ignorance’ and offered to shed some light on the practical life, more things that your parents don’t teach you!

I grabbed this opportunity to gain what I lost- My respect, peace of mind and focus on my career & personal life. I made a hit list-No, I really mean it. A hit list with all the people who I don’t need or rather who are the poisonous weeds that would eventually take all the nice people in my life down with them. I simply never showed 1 % of mercy and just stroked them all OUT OF MY LIFE. This might not sound well with few, but a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do!

I went low for 6 months, never smiling and only lifting my heads for Q&A’s. I started working on my flaws and approached everything officially. I snapped at people who tried to build a personal rapport with me, especially men. I don’t say all men are mean, but certainly few are. Plus this worked out beautifully for me.

All the sacrifice and efforts I put in paved way beautifully. I was able to focus on my career, my personal growth, my mom’s health and above all got my peace and respect back. I’m now looked upon as an unapproachable person, rude and snappy but at least people will never call me ‘characterless’. I have a character- a well-defined one. I’m flexible like a liquid where I can fit in any container but I also have viscosity that makes me ‘ME’.

I’ve grown in such a way that my mom and my family are proud of me. They respect my decisions and views which by itself is an achievement for me.  This has given me a different level of courage and strength to handle situations. Now I think I CAN break the face of the woman or the people who spoke ill of me, but I WONT. Let karma do her dirty work!!

I'm proud of myself in a way I've grown and to be the person who I'm today. I did struggle, went low, heartbroken and thought I should have had my father near me every time something hurt me, every time someone looks at me sympathetically and every time life gives me a hard time. But I had to face the truth. I was brought by a woman, a very strong one and I had to face the world for that one reason. I did. I overcame all the barriers life had for me and I will overcome whatever that comes my way in future too. 

I definitely am eternally grateful to all those nice hearts who seen the potential in me to grow and who constantly been shedding some light in guiding me. We all have a changing moment, a time when we need help. In whatever little experience I’ve gained, I have few points to share:

I overcame, YOU can too J. Good luck!

Namma Chennai had a similar story where we struggled during the floods and we rose again much more stronger. There is an anthology from our very own bloggers of CBC and you can find the trailer in the below link: Anthology by CBC